It was quite the year. It started out with my world being turned upside down. My littles were able to go live with their mom. There were many layers to my decision to let them go. There was no question for Cassie. She was over the moon to get them back. And so they moved to Indiana.
Including the moving trip I have been to Indiana five times this year. I did the nice long road trip in July. I had to go and see for myself how they were all settling in. I was impressed with how the routine and stability was having a positive vibe on the littles. They are where they need to be. Every time I go they don't want me to leave, but they are accepting of it. They have grown and matured a lot this year.
The move came at a good time. I was needed in the care of my mom. We had moved her to an adult care home. And it just wasn't working out that well. And I never could get her dr. to give her what she needed. They would just tell me that she is already taking things to make her sleep. Well maybe so, but it wasn't working. So the dementia was progressing and she wasn't sleeping. Made for a lot of agitation. The only choice seemed to be was to move her back to a facility with staff.
Did that and five days later Coronavirus shut the care facilities down to visits. Bad, horrible timing. Dementia patients don't do well with change in the first place. Seemed like I did spend a lot of time in the parking lot. I made many trips to the pharmacy. The nurses at the facility had the correct language to get what they needed from the dr. I'm not sure they ever did get it figured out though. She had been there two months when she had the heart attack that took her life.
Covid 19 stopped the world. It was new and greatly contagious. It became political in a great way. It sent fear everywhere in our world that is already so afraid. The fearmongering was intense. I understand fear. I am afraid of everything. I try very hard not to let my fear debilitate my life.
When Mom died I learned (again) the lesson of living. Because no one could visit, I did not get to spend time with her that last two months before the heart attack. I'm not saying it was right or wrong to shut the facilities down. But life goes on even if some people are in a bubble. Life and death go on. And it could be that while we are all in our bubbles we miss out on our last chance to say I love you, or give a hug, or just be together.
And so I drove to Indiana to see my littles. I also stopped along the way and saw some other relatives. And it was the last time I saw one of them as my cousin died shortly after my visit. Had I not chosen to go I would have missed seeing him. I have flown three times to Indiana. I try to time my trips to low peak travel times. And planes don't scare me for air quality, not with their constant fresh air coming in. When I am at home I am mostly at home. But I have been to the farmer's market which is outside. I volunteered at a farm working outside. I follow the mandate to wear a mask. When restaurants were open I dined at two of them. When they are closed (like right now) I don't.
My heart goes out to those who have lost jobs, businesses, homes, etc. My heart breaks for those who had losses of people that they didn't get to be with. I'm hoping for a better year in 2021 for those who have suffered.
But it's not all bad. I saw more Christmas lights than I think I ever have. I have seen so many families riding bikes and going for walks. Dogs in our neighborhood are very happy as I don't think they have ever gotten so many walks. A lot of downtime and I hope the folks were able to enjoy it that they didn't have every minute of their lives booked up with activities. My cousin in Illinois worked on quilts and did many this year. Me I read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies...playing catch up. We go on.
