Trauma Responses

 We've been talking about trauma responses.  Personally I think we all have them because we have all suffered some form of trauma in our lives.  Even people who seem to have it all together.  I never really knew about trauma responses until I had to start dealing with some of the little man's issues.  That was a very big wake up call.

My own personal responses tend towards my passive/aggressive behaviors.  I have had them so long, I think they are just ingrained in my personality now and I doubt I'm ever going to change.  Sometimes though just being aware means changes happen.  

Early trauma seems to lead to a person not being able to ask for help.  Somehow their brain decided they could not trust anyone to help them or take care of them.  My little man had a lot of this and showed it at six years-old.  

This week I was involved with a young woman who has this response as an adult.  I wanted to do something very helpful.  She could not accept it.  When it was explained to me, I realized it was a trauma response.  My heart felt very sad.  She is beautiful, smart, motivated and thinks she has to do it all herself. It is not my fault that her family did not take care of her as they should have.  It is not her fault her family did not take care of her the way they should have.  But it is her reality.  

So we had to come at our dilemma at another angle.  We did manage to find a way to do what we thought was going to be a helpful thing, not just for today but for awhile and in many ways.  We found a way to not be disrespectful to her.  Afterall she is in control of her life and we are not.  And in the end she was happy we did it.

I think we need to talk more about trauma responses and what can be done.  I think we need to normalize talking about mental health issues.  PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc.  We all have trauma and we all have responses.  Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if we did more communicating.