Reason Why

 It struck me the other day.  I have been the caretaker for a long time.  Pretty much all of my adult life.  The caretaker doing such a good job, sometimes forgets to take care of herself.  After a year of COVID and a year without kids I am finally taking care of me.  

So I knew I wanted to eat better and actually decided it was time to lose the weight that I have carried for almost 25 years.  I know some basics and I know me.  So I knew I needed help.  I've been seeing these ads for Noom and decided I would try it.  

So I have been using the program for two weeks, which is the free trial period.  In that two weeks I lost five pounds and am eating a lot of good food.  The surprise was getting rid of so much junk and processed food...I was amazed at how good 'real' food tastes.  So I am logging my meals and watching where it falls on the calorie denseness indicator.  I am walking almost every day.  Sometimes by myself and sometimes with a friend or dogs.  Noom gives me lots of tips on how to get past the cravings and the fog eating.  

Here is the link if anyone is interested in trying it themselves.  No hidden agenda.  If you click my link, and you like it and stick with it, I get something out of it.  I personally like the program as it works for me right now.  I'm one of those people that if I pay for it, I am going to use it.

Watch my journey.  

Still At It

 Still eating lots of veggies and salads.  I think my favorite salad is the 50/50 mix which has baby spinach in it.  And then just a very small amount of Olive Garden light Italian put on the salad in drops.  I am absolutely in love with roasted Brussel sprouts with garlic and parmesan.  And then one night I added in the last of the asparagus and it made it very edible.  I'm not a fan of asparagus, but I'm trying to get a good variety of veggies in.  Although it seems I like green veggies best.  

This week brought up a visit with Dennis, one of our forever neighbors.  A trip to farmer's market with a walk downtown.  That took us into a couple of stores and we noticed many new restaurants.  Society lamented the loss of so many small businesses during the pandemic.  And I am empathetic.  But I knew we would see a whole bunch of new businesses when we could come back together.  

My big project was cleaning up and reorganizing my food storage.  Now that most things have moved back upstairs it was getting messy.  Looks so much better and I did not procrastinate for months.  Makes me happy.

A Week

 Today marks a week since I returned home from Indiana.  And what a week it has been.  Maybe I finally shed that seasonal depression.  I feel better and it shows.  

First I found my motivation back for my little garden.  And so I bought and hauled the dirt.  I bought the plants and cages and then got it planted and watered.  Looks nice.  I'm happy.  I haven't had a garden with veggies since 2012.  And always before that I had an awful lot of help.  Dave liked to help get the plot ready for planting. And he liked to plant.  So this was all on me this time.  Hence a small raised bed.  I have five tomatoes, a cucumber, a zucchini and some pole beans.  

Before working on the garden...I had to mow as it had not been done since I did it before going to Indiana.  I also got frustrated with my weed eater as it wouldn't spin.  Argh.  Pat let me use his cordless though and I got some of that done and now you can see the garden.  Along with that I weeded the front flowerbeds and got it all in the yard recycle and out.  

While Jodi and I were in Hawaii we talked about better eating.  I think I actually started there.  Got back in the grove of being aware when I was full and not eating more.  A lot of it is just being aware.  So I continued on in Indiana.  When I got home I had to go grocery shopping and I bought lots of veggies and good for me food.  Took three stores to get it all.  I really don't like that part. 

Now that I am home for an extended period....well until the middle of June anyway...I am seriously working on it.  Getting more veggies in and leaving the junk at the store.  Drinking more water.  Had a nice salad last night (and I don't believe I have ever had just salad as a main course) with an avocado.  The grape tomatoes I put on it were so dang sweet.  It feels good to be taking care of myself.  And a lot easier when I am just taking care of me.  

My social life increased.  I talked to a couple of neighbors, visited my friend Doug and made it out to Betty's.  I had went to check on Mom's headstone and then stopped at Betty's on the way back.  I'm going to mow for her later in the week.  And a side note....the headstone is not there yet.  Oy.  I'm making plans with Brenda and Belinda to meet up.  We last saw each other last fall.  Too long but every one was staying home and away from people as much as possible.  Every one but me.  

And I am now vaccinated for the COVID.  I was beginning to feel like I had more than tempted fate the last year.  I did a lot of travelling.  And so I opted to get the shots.  The first one before I went to Hawaii and it gave me a headache and a sore arm.  The second shot, day after I returned from Indiana, gave me a headache, a worse sore arm and joint pain.  Felt it for a couple of days and then it all dissipated. 

It feels good to be past the fog.  

Indiana

 Every trip to Indiana, my anxiety lessons and my depression decreases.  I feel it happening as it gets closer to time to go.  And it is so nice.  Honesty says there are times that my PTSD get a bit triggered, but seems to be less and less each trip.  

Then we do the reverse the other direction.  I've got to say that this is the first year that my seasonal depression really continued on past the winter.  Maybe it didn't and situational depression kicked in.  I really don't know.  I just know that it is so.  

Part of it has to be that big pieces of my heart are in Indiana, and when I am with them, I feel more whole. 

This trip was suppose to end and Pat and Rebecca were going to Hawaii.  I was going to have a week to myself at home.  Well plans always change and now I will not be by myself and Pat is going alone.  So all my well intentioned plans (that I would only get half done if lucky) are out the window.  And my anxiety is surging.  Wonderful.