As the sun came up, we got a beautiful view of the moon. It is the winter solstice today. Shortest day, longest night. And we will have hot cocoa tonight.
I tend to suffer from the seasonal affective disorder. Not always, but I have noticed it for the last decade or so. Not while I'm in it, but as I come out of it. I will realize that I have forgotten to do something that I never forgot before. Like renewing tags for a vehicle or my driver's license. I believe that seasonal is caused by less sun and less activity in the winter.
The solstice, this year, reminded me that I suffer this. In 2020 I think I actually had depression the whole year. Circumstances caused a lot of that and it took me awhile to come out of it. 2021 has been a different year. I have felt the freedom that my life has attained. And I started taking care of myself since I am no longer anyone else's caretaker. I had that role my whole adult life and it feels freeing to not have it be a primary role.
This morning with the moon I realized that I have had the best holiday season so far. No stress. We have done activities, but not too much. We have shopped, but not too much. We have decorated, but not too much. We have loved and it is never too much. I am right where I want to be and content in this moment. I'm thrilled to not be sad.
The weather has been mostly sunny since I have been here. We are walking every day so getting our exercise and outside in the sun. I have no clue if it is circumstances or taking better care this year.
Will I have it next year? We will have to wait and see, but what a delightful change this year.
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