Laugh?

 So I happened to eavesdrop on a conversation between parent and child.  They seemed to be discussing how much work the child should be doing around the household.  I came in as the child said she works.  And the mother laughed at her.  And then went on a tirade of all the things she does and what her work hours were.  

All of that might have meant something if the mother ran a household and was raising a family.  It might have meant more if she hadn't just started a job (second week) after more than a year being unemployed.  It might have meant more if the daughter was babysitting and not working at a grocery store collecting a real paycheck. 

I looked back over my life and I do not recall my mother ever laughing at me and trying to make me feel small.  I come from my own alcoholic family with all of its co-dependencies.  We had all our own trails and tribulations.  But Mom never purposely tried to make us feel small.

Later I said something to the girl about seeing her job and how it hurt my feelings for her when her mom laughed.  She looked at me like she did not understand the last part.  And that is when I realized that she has coping mechanisms in place to protect herself.  It's a good thing for her to not be hurt by things like this.  It is also a sad thing that she has to have those coping mechanisms in the first place.  

It truly makes me appreciate what a good mom I had.  She worked hard to try and minimize the damage that we suffer in a broken family.